Category: Joke Board
Q: Why are organists like a broken-winded cab horse?
A: They are always longing for another stop.
Q: Why are a organist's fingers like lightning?
A: Because they rarely strike the same place twice.
Q: What do you get if you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A: A flat miner.
Q: What do you get if you drop an organ on an army base?
A: A flat major.
Q: Why is an 11-foot concert grand better than a studio upright?
A: It makes a louder noise, when you drop it off a cliff.
Q: Why was the organ invented?
A: So the musician would have a place to put his beer.
Q: What does a German Hammond organist do in his life's most tender moments?
A: He puts his Leslie on "slow".
Q: What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?
A: Root position cords.
Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A: A flat minor.
Q: What do you get if you run over an army officer with a steam roller?
A: A flat major.
Q: What do you say to an army officer as you're about to run him or her over with a steam roller?
A: Be flat, major.
Q: What do you say after you run an army officer over with a steam roller?
A: See flat major.
Q: What key is "Exploring The Cave With No Flashlight" written in?
A: C sharp or B flat.
Q: What do you get when an army officer puts his nose to the grindstone?
A: A sharp major.
Q: What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?
A: A natural major.
Q: How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn?
A: Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes.
Q: How do you make a french horn sound like a trombone?
A: Take your hand out of the bell and lose all sense of taste.
Q: How do you make a french horn sound like a trombone?
A: Take your hand out of the bell and miss all of the notes.
Q: What's the definition of a gentleman?
A: Somone who knows how to play the trombone and doesn't.
Q: What is the difference between a trombone and a trumpet?
A: A trombone will bend before it breaks.
Q: There is a frog driving east and a trombonist walking west. What can be surmised from this?
A: The frog's probably on its way to a gig.
Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?
A: It's all in the grip.
Q: What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?
A: You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors don't mind if you don't return the sax when you borrow it.
Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower?
A: Vibrato.
Q: How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to handle the bulb, and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
Q: How do you make a chainsaw sound like a bari-sax?
A: Add vibrato.
Q: What's the definition of a gentleman?
A: One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!
Q: How many sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Sixty. One to change the bulb and fifty-nine to talk about how much better Michael Brecker would have done it.
Q: How do you make him stop playing?
A: Put notes on it!
Q: What did the guitar say to the guitarist?
A: Pick on someone your own size!
Q: What's the definition of a minor second?
A: Two lead guitarists playing in unison.
Q: What do you call two guitarists playing in unison?
A: Counterpoint.
Q: How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
A: Give him a sheet of music.
Q: How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Twenty. One to change the bulb and nineteen to say, "Not bad, but I could've done better".
Q: What does a guitarist say when he gets to his gig?
A: Would you like fries with that?
Q: What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?
A: Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!
Q: What is the difference between a guitar and a tuna fish?
A: You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.
That's good.
My personal favorite is:
"Q: How do you make a chainsaw sound like a bari-sax?
A: Add vibrato."
Bob
I know lots of musicians with senses of hyumor. I've a long list of these to which I'll append these. Thanks.
Lou
thanks. they were god